Tiger Lily. Photo by Michael Dubiner.
Short Fiction
The Flight
Deep moans emanate from the abandoned building in the north-west corner of the 'Societal Concerns General Hospital'. Raudra stops here every evening as he passes by wondering, "Whose moans are these that sound so familiar?" Raudra Arya, a resident at the hospital, a student of neurology, concerns himself with everything that touches his heart. Today he stops and stares for longer than usual because the moans are intercepted by laughter. The laughter has a strange ringing voice that invites him into something, that something inexplicable. For days he could not figure out from which room of the building this voice came from, but today it seemed really close. A stealthy glance around, and Raudra decides to go closer to the building than usual.
As his steps move closer the laughter stops, deep breaths are heard as if someone has energy that has been forced to remain latent. Raudra feels the breath. His hand touches the wall. He hears the other hand touch the wall. He takes off his hand and then slaps the wall with the other. The person behind the wall responds…the same rhythm, the same lag in time, the same beat, they make music. Startled, Raudra presses his ear against the wall and asks, "Who are you?" There is no reply. Then suddenly a burst of tears, a cry that hurts Raudra. He has never heard anyone cry like that before. "Stop!" he shouts, "Don't cry, don't every cry, I shall take you out of here." The cries stop. Raudra touches the wall as if pacifying the person on the other side. He resolves to do something about it. He walks away.
Sabina Maria feels great relief for the first time in ten years, as if someone had actually heard her. She looks at the scaled hands and feet and slowly touches her forearm. "Aahh", she bleeds her skin unknowingly with her overgrown nails due to her inability to control her movement. The room away from light, has a smell of dead rats that Maria bears, covered with puke due to her inability to bear the smell. The only time she sees any light is when the warden, Sitara Devi, gets her food. Sitara Devi opens the door with utmost care, just keeping it at a twenty degree angle from the wall, wide enough to let a plate in sideways, spilling half the food on the floor, which Ram Ashraya cleans once in fifteen days.
She hasn't had a bath in two months she thinks and looks at her brown, infested skin, and her partially bleeding wrists, as a result of the shackles that chain her to the wall allowing only enough movement to go closer to the door. A small crack at the corner of the wall allows her to see the shoe flower or its leaves depending on how the plant chooses to move itself. The glimpse of it brings such a bright spark in her eye and the urge to touch it, makes her forget the chains which again causes intense bleeding of her limbs. Sabina Maria, distressed, moans and moans, but nobody seems to hear. All of twenty-seven, Maria looks as if ready to go back into the foetal position.
As the wind touches his skin, Raudra imagines the hands behind the wall. He hears the sound of that ringing laughter, so full of life, as if it will devour every beauty in nature. That rhythm, that haunting moan - Raudra shuts his ears as if to block everything, his thoughts, his memories. "Stop!" he screams.
He walks into a building to go for his night-rounds. Did I mean it when I said that I would get that person out? Can I? He wonders. But who is it? Salim, almost 60, chews tobacco as he stands leaning his lean body against a stretcher. "Salaam sahib" he waves his hand as Raudra passes by. The gnawing slips his tongue as Raudra responds to Salim, "Who lives in the north-west building, that abandoned one?" "Sabahnah Maiya" he mispronounces due to his tobacco-ridden mouth. He spits into a pot close by and says, "Woh paagal, that crazy woman, Sitara Devi visits her daily, woh kaat thi hai (she bites)."
Raudra walks away as he acknowledges Salim's comments. She, who has that ringing laughter cannot bite, he thinks. After his rounds, he walks into his father's office, Krishna Arya, the head of the department of psychiatry and a leading voice in the management committee of the hospital. Dr Krishna Arya sits in his tall chair going through one of his patient's files. Raudra interrupts him expecting a really angry reaction from his father. "How many times have I told you to knock at the door?" he asks Raudra. He instantly apologises and releases his question, "Who is Sabina Maria? What is her case all about?" He sees his father's expression change into a semblance of fear and also regains its stoic mask as his father collects himself. "Why do you care?" he asks Raudra. "Well, I want to know why someone is locked up like a prisoner in the north-west corner of this hospital," his voice softens as the sentence progresses and as he sees his father's face adopt anger. "That woman is a menace. After all the sessions and a couple of shocks, she still wants to fly. Nothing can cure her. The mental hospital won't take her because she was registered at first as a case of psychological disorder."
"She wants to fly?" smiles Raudra. "But that is an innocuous wish, how is that a menace?" "Don't talk like an idiot Raudra, humans don't fly. She made some wings and went to the terrace of a sky-scraper ten years ago, to fly! Her parents managed to capture her and bring her here. At first they thought these were mere flights of fantasy, but then they realized how serious she was when they saw the wings!" "Wings, where are they?" asks Raudra. "I am not sure. I think her parents have them," Dr Krishna responds.
"Why does she have to be locked up?" Raudra expresses his concern. "Well, because we can't have people in this society with wings. They can then go anywhere, and that is not possible", Dr Krishna says as a matter of fact. "But where does she want to go?" Raudra asks, more curious now. "Well, I never asked her," his father responds, "and what does it matter, she is mentally unstable, with a stupid want of flying!" "Can I get access into that room? I want to cure her," offers Raudra. "What? You must be crazy. We have all given up." "No, just this one time, I want to see this person who wants to fly," pleads Raudra. "Well, come to me when you become insane and give up," he hands Raudra the keys in arrogance.
All through dinner, Raudra keeps thinking of his childhood wish to fly. "Ma," he calls out to Sumathy, "Do you remember that I wanted to fly?" Sumathy, barely lifting her head from one of the political dailies, nods her head. "Was I six or seven then? When I threw a tantrum to fly and you locked me up?" Sumathy finally aroused by the accusation, lifts her head and says, "Seven. You were so stubborn about wanting to fly. We took you in an aeroplane the next day but you still continued to cry. You said, "I want to fly, not like this, inside this box!" and then we locked you up, till you regained your senses!" "Ma, but why did you lock me up? Why did you not help me fly?" he asks. Sumathy appalled, "Are you crazy? Humans don't fly. How can you defy gravity?" "They have locked up Sabina Maria, she wants to fly," he tells his mother. "Yes, she tried to fly. So they had to lock her up," she responds. As Raudra eats Sumathy notices a determination on his face that scares her.
Jacob and Kalisthia Maria sit on their porch in the outskirts of the city, sipping tea, as Raudra opens their gate. They are surprised by a visitor at this hour as it is very uncommon for someone to visit their home after the mishap with their daughter. The neighbors have ostracized them and so has the Church due to the strange ways of their daughter. Kalisthia, excited to see someone enter their house shouts out loudly, "Welcome, welcome. Will you have some tea?" Raudra looks at the pudgy woman with a soft face running towards him.
Their roof seems to be falling and the man sitting in the chair seems to be holding his tears, thinks Raudra. He accepts their invitation to tea. Slightly nervous, he asks, "Where are the wings?" Jacob violently gets up from his chair, "Get out! I do not want to talk about the woman who brought misery to this house. She killed us too many years ago. And we have burnt her wings. So just leave!" Raudra jumps out of his chair and manages to say, "She is your daughter. Do you not want to see how she is?" Kalisthia sternly responds, "Gentleman, I don't know who you are, but she only causes misery, she will destroy you, I, as her mother, am telling you this. See our poverty, she is the cause. Leave her alone, you will do yourself some good."
As the key opens the door, Maria wakes up. She looks towards the door and waits for the food to fall, but it doesn't. The door opens and someone enters. She screams at the sight. Raudra closes his nose and mouth to protect himself from the stench and sees a woman lying down in filth and a gown on her as if hanging on a corpse. "Sitara Devi", He shouts, "How can you let someone live like this? Clean this room, right now. Bathe her, right now. I want this done in the next few hours." Maria looks at his calm face, his eyes, an eagerness in them, just like in hers. She laughs. Raudra freezes. He has finally seen the person with that laughter. Tears run down seeing the corpse-like figure and he turns away.
Sitara Devi and Ram Ashraya, take her out of the shackles and drop a bucket of water on her and leave her locked in the bathroom while they concentrate on cleaning the floor. Maria freezes and cries as water touches her wounds. Unable to sit due to the sting of water she walks around in frenzy as if being nailed each second.
Raudra realizing the callousness of his helpers takes on the task himself. He carries a bag of medicines and oils to soothe her wounds and opens the door. Maria stops crying as she sees Raudra enter. He wipes her tears and as his hand touches her face a storm of familiarity binds them. As the oils run on her, the wounds cringe, but Maria doesn't, they soothe her innards and she holds the hand that cleans her wounds. Raudra looks up and smiles and gives her a peck on her forehead. I have seen life he thinks. With her new found body Maria walks out into the open with Raudra. She runs to the shoe flower plant to take a good look at it. Her feet fail her many a times but her will to see conquers it all. Raudra follows her and watches her as the plant brings a bright smile to her face. She covers her face from the harshness of the sun and slowly opens herself to its warmth. Raudra holds her and touches her unruly locks. Sabina Maria, for the first time experiences a known touch. Is that what is called God? She wonders.
"Come, let's fly," he whispers into her ears. Sabina Maria looks into his eyes. He speaks the truth she thinks. She involuntarily hugs him and lets out a cry as her wounds touch him but the wounds lose their effect as his bodily warmth heals them.
Sitara Devi reveals the presence of Maria in the exterior of the building. Dr Krishna Arya now aware of his son's insanity instructs the hospital to capture both of them. The entire hospital collectively decides to end their lives. "She is dangerous to the society and he who helps her is a greater danger to us. They should be killed before this spreads to our sons and daughters," they shout loudly. "What is it that spreads?" Salim wonders. But this is not the time to question; it is the time to support the majority. The hospital staff joins in and the word spreads like such a wild fire, that the entire town joins to watch the spectacle. Kalisthia and Jacob, happy to hear about their daughter's final destruction join the crowds. The crowds, now convinced of their integrity, don't seem to mind their presence.
As Raudra and Maria climb the stairs to reach the terrace, they hear screams, "Kill them! Punish them!" Maria overcome by fear of loss of Raudra hugs him tightly as if to hide him in her body. Raudra assures her of his safety and wonders why, why would someone who hardly knows him, want to protect him? Never have his parents done that. Why? Why her? And he lets her lead him. The cries grow louder and louder. Kalisthia laughs a blissful laugh that stings Maria's heart. Raudra holds her tightly, "We have to fly," he reminds her. They take their last step onto the open terrace and Maria spots a set of deep blue wings.
Her laughter drowns the cries of the crowd. They pause in fear. But regain their senses as they see Raudra and Maria at the edge of the terrace preparing for their flight. They start throwing stones. Sumathy yells out, "Stop Raudra, stop! You will die!" The crowd prepares to drown the building in flames so as to destroy all evidences of this craze for flight. "Ma you are scared of flying. Humans can fly, they can. You just need to try!" The building lights up in flames as Raudra and Maria carefully place themselves on each other holding their wings. They leave just as the last flame is about to touch them, disappointing the crowd.
"Earth will kill them anyway," shouts a person in the crowd. But they fly folding their interlocked feet, their hands moving the wings finely balanced on their shoulders. Their complementing rhythms, helps the wind support them as a fountain from below that holds them up so high among the clouds that they disappear like birds in to their own world, the world of flight, the world of God, where everything is in your hands and where nothing is a sin. Sabina Maria and Raudra hold each other so tight that their blood merges into one, unable to distinguish between the two bodies. "Were they ever separate?" they wonder as they safely land on a cushion of grass. Hmm, the breath of air! And they laugh, laugh with the ringing sound of nature that echoes far away into the ears of the hospital, reminding those people that they are alive and that they achieved their dream, their flight!
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